literature

The Syrup Snatcher

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Literature Text

Where in the world is Ms. Butterworth?

Cast:

Amy-The thief
Sarah- The heroine
Darby- The hero and detective.
Andy- Darby’s sidekick.
Matthew, Tim and Stephen- The cops

Scene 1:
(Sounds of pancakes grilling. Camera is focused on an empty place. More pancake grilling sounds. One pancake is pilled on the plate. More grill. Another pancake. Sounds of knife on a butter dish. Butter is pilled on the plate. Sounds of cupboards opening and closing. Several. More rapid opening and slamming. Sarah screaming and sounds of her hitting the ground. Title comes on screen. Flash of lightning and rain. Blackout.)

Scene 2: Just after the incident.
(Darby and Andy Drive up to the house where caution tape is being placed by the cops. They get out of the car and Andy lights his cigarette. They walk up to the house and knock on the door. Darby looks at Andy and taps him on the shoulder. She points to a sign on the wall of the home. “No Smoking.” Andy rolls his eyes and puts out his cigarette. Stephen answers the door.
STEPHEN- Thank you Detective Gross. (He nods his head to Andy.) McDonald. (He opens the door all the way.) Please come in.
(They enter and Stephen closes the door behind them. He leads the detectives to Sarah who is laying on the couch with hot wrap on her head. Matthew is holding her hand in a consoling nature. Sarah is shaking her head in fright. Darby pulls out her note pad and pen and approaches Sarah. Andy begins to look around. Inspecting a few papers around the counter and such.)
DARBY- Thank you Sergeant Underwood, I’ll take it from here.
MATTHEW- She’s pretty shaken up Detective. Maybe we should wait till she’s over the trauma of it all-
SARAH- No…No I think I can talk about it now… thank you.
(Matthew nods to Sarah and to Darby. Darby takes his seat.)
DARBY- All right Miss Sarah, don’t you fret. McDonald and I have it all under control. Now, just tell us what happened this morning. Don’t think any detail is too minor-it maybe just the evidence we need to catch this syrup thief.
SARAH- (Thinking) You’ll have to excuse me…I am quite shaken up about it all. I’ll do my best. It all happened this morning…Mom just bought me a whole thing of syrup-Ms. Butterworth’s. I was making pancakes this morning-
DARBY- (Writing everything down.) Wheat, or buttermilk?
SARAH- I…I can’t recall.
DARBY- (Patting her arm) Please, try.
SARAH- It must have been buttermilk… I don’t believe we have wheat.
(Andy holds up a bag of buttermilk pancake mix.)
ANDY-Boss, its buttermilk alright.
DARBY- Thank-you…please continue Miss Sarah.
SARAH- I had just finished making my pancakes. I piled them-two-I can’t handle to eat more than two-and then I put some butter on top. I realized I hadn’t grabbed the syrup from the cupboard…So I went to grab it…but….but (she starts to get emotional.) when I got there…. IT WASN’T THERE! (Sobs) So-so I went to look in an-another cupboard…it wasn’t there either!
(Darby begins rubbing her arm, and Matthew, Tim, and Stephen listen intently, each giving their own look of disgust and sympathy.)
SARAH- I had gone through all my cupboards then…(She looks Darby directly in the eyes. Suspense music starts playing softly.) Then I knew. It wasn’t in any cupboard.
DARBY- Couldn’t you have just misplaced it?
SARAH- No…
(Camera moves between eyes. There is a deep silence.)
DARBY- Right… (she sighs.) Miss Sarah, is there anyone you believe might have taken your Ms.Butterworth’s?
SARAH- I don’t know why anyone would… its just…so evil!
ANDY- (Has been looking all over.) Boss, I think I might have found something…)
(Darby looks over to Sarah…)

Scene 3: After scene 2 duh.

(Andy pops in a video tape-which is the evidence he found-and he stands back. He presses play on the remote and everyone watches in horror. An altered voice begins to speak and a picture of Ms. Butterworth tied up and hung over a trash can is shown on the screen.)
AMY- (In an altered voice) If you ever want to see your beloved Butterworth again Miss Sarah, I suggest you bring everything in your piggy bank to the tree at Woodland park with the purple ribbon on it. Place the piggy bank on the ground and come back in one hour, and you will have your sweet syrup… ah….ha….ha….(Coughing, clearing of throat. It sounds like a terrible cold. Sniffle.) …ha…. (Tape cuts.)
(Andy clicks the stop button on the remote.)
SARAH- Everything?
DARBY- Don’t you panic Miss Sarah. We’ll catch this sticky slime ball before your precious piggy bank, and syrup is gone.
SARAH- (Weeping) How could someone do such a horrible thing? (She falls in to Stephen’s arms and weeps. Stephen pats her shoulder.)
STEPHEN- There, there Miss Sarah.
ANDY- Darby, did you hear a time for the drop off…
DARBY- No…that’s why its so bizarre.
TIM- Maybe she just forgot…
DARBY- (Looks at Tim.) I’m sorry, did you say she?
TIM- (Blinking a few times.) Did I? I didn’t mean to.
DARBY- (Eyes him suspiciously, but continues on anyways.) Quite fine. But its very unlikely the Butterworth Burglar just forgot to set a time to get their money-
(Phone rings. Sarah tries to get up and get it, but Darby motions to her to wait for Andy to pick it up, and then they pick it up at the same time.)
SARAH- He-hello?
AMY- (In altered voice) Miss Sarah?
SARAH- What have you done with my syrup you fiend! (Darby grabs her arm gently and motions her to calm down.)
AMY- Don’t be getting jumpy Miss Sarah, or its trash time for an old time favorite.
SARAH- What do you want?
AMY- Didn’t you get my message?
SARAH- Yes I did…but you didn’t tell me when.
AMY- Well…I wasn’t sure of a good time….Is five pm good for you?
SARAH- (Looks at Darby.) Five…?
(Darby nods.)
SARAH- We’ll be there…
(Phone clicks. Sarah hangs up the phone.)
DARBY- We have three hours to find this criminal.

End act one

Act 2
Scene 1
(Andy and Darby walking back to the car.)
ANDY- What are we going to do?
DARBY- It’s a mystery I’ll agree. I mean…of all the things to steal, why a poor old time favorite syrup? (They get in the car. Andy starts the car.)
ANDY- So, who is our first suspect?
DARBY- Well…it’s a long shot, but he may be able to supply us with some information. He’ll be hard to crack though…
ANDY- Who is it?
(Law and Order beat.)
Scene 2
(In the interrogation room. Really its just a garage with a desk and a light. Darby grabs the desk, the camera is just on her right now.)
DARBY- You’re the Butterworth Burglar aren’t you? ARENT YOU?
(Camera turns on Greg.)
GREG- What are you talking about?!
DARBY- You stole Miss Sarah’s syrup-didn’t you?
GREG- What? What warrant do you have to suspect I did it?
DARBY- Enough… (She glares at him as she steps behind Andy and leans against a wall.)
ANDY- (Approaches him nicely, with a gentle, warm smile. He offers Greg a cigarette. Greg shakes his head.) Good for you. (He begins to light up his until Greg points to another No-Smoking sign. Andy growls and puts his cigarettes away.)
GREG- Listen, I didn’t take Miss Sarah’s syrup. I don’t even know where she lives!
(Andy slinks back behind Darby, moping over his lack of cigarettes.)
DARBY- (Reasonably, realizing he isn’t the one.) Do you know who does?
GREG- Several people. Stephen, Tim Matthew and Sarah are pretty popular people.
DARBY- Wait-wait… Stephen, Tim and Matthew…?
GREG- Sarah’s brothers. You didn’t know that?
DARBY- (Looks at Andy. Andy is staring at his cigarettes.) No, we didn’t. You said Tim?
GREG- Yes! Didn’t you bloody hear me?
DARBY- (Talking to Andy) Tim said “she” when he was referring to the burglar…
ANDY- He slurred. Some people just often refer to all sex as one stereotypical sex.
DARBY- But then he would have said “he” women are not usually the stereotypical sorts behind this.
GREG- Hey!
DARBY- No offence.
GREG- None take if I can go.
DARBY- Fine, go-beat it.
(Greg gets up and leaves.)
DARBY- (Looks at her watch) We have less than 2 hours. Call Tim. Tell him to come to the station-
ANDY- You mean the garage?
DARBY-….Yes. Don’t tell him why, just call him and tell him we need to see him.
ANDY- (Pulls out his cellphone) Tim? Yes, hello, Detective McDonald here. We need you to come to the station please… Yes, the…garage… We just have a few questions. (He hangs up.)
(Tim enters in.)
TIM- You could have just shouted.

Scene 3
DARBY- Have a seat Tim.
TIM- Am I being interrogated?
DARBY- Why didn’t you tell us you were Miss Sarah’s own flesh and blood?
TIM- I…I thought you knew that.
DARBY- Well we didn’t!
TIM- Well then I’m Sarah’s brother…. Ta da…
DARBY- Don’t wisecrack me. Have a seat. (Aggressively pulls the seat out for him. Tim grudgingly obliges.) Where were you this morning?
TIM- (Sarcastically) The same thing I do every morning, detective. Try and take over the world.
ANDY- That’s enough smarty. Answer the detective’s question.
TIM- (Sighs) School.
DARBY- Its Saturday…
TIM- Its not the kind of school you think it is-I was in driver’s ed. They have a weekend class from eight am till four pm.
DARBY- Its three-thrity.
TIM- Sarah called Stephen when it all happened, then Stephen came and picked me. We came her as quick as we could.
DARBY- (Stares at Tim for a moment.)
TIM- Am I free? Its apparent you have no merit for this interrogation.
(Tim gets up to leave.)
DARBY- Did you really stutter Tim?
TIM- (Turning to look at her.) What?
DARBY- You said “she” Come come Tim…who is she?
TIM- I don’t know what you’re talking about. (Exits quickly.)
DARBY- (Looks at Andy.) He’s holding something from us…I know it.
(Law and order beat.)

Act 3
Scene 1
(Darby is sitting at the counter with a shot of Gatorade in front of her. Her hand is wrapped around it and the other hand rubs her brow tiresomely. She sips the Gatorade and drops the glass down furiously. Andy is across the table, and pulls out one of his cigarettes. He tries to light one.)
DARBY- Please don’t smoke in the house.
(Andy drops the lighter exhaustingly and exits the room. A door slams. Suddenly there is a sneeze as Amy comes in the room. A box of tissues in her hand, and a backpack on. She blows her nose.)
DARBY- Wow, you’re sick.
Amy- (Sniff) Yeah. I’ll be fine… do you want me to refill that?
DARBY- if you wouldn’t mind. Just give me the bottle.
AMY- Are you sure you can handle that?
DARBY- Just give it to me! (Amy nervously gives Darby the Gatorade. Darby gulps it down.) If I even live through this case to see another Ms. Butterworth’s again…
AMY- Um…?
DARBY- Miss Sarah’s syrup was stolen. Ms. Butterworths.
AMY- Did you check Stephen?
DARBY- What?
AMY- Or Matthew? They’re boys. They eat a lot.
DARBY- (Raises a brow) You didn’t mention Tim…
AMY- Well…I guess Tim could have eaten some too.
DARBY- …Yeah… Where are you going?
AMY- Just for a walk… I’ll be back soon.  
DARBY- You need a backpack?
AMY- I brought some reading.
DARBY- To walk?
AMY- Not to walk, but in case I stop to read… like a park or something.
DARBY- (Suddenly realizes something) Amy…what’s your favorite color?
AMY- Purple-duh.
(Amy exits. A door slams.)
DARBY- (Looking at her Gatorade.) That’s interesting…

Scene 2
(Andy outside the house has been trying to get his lighter to light the entire time with his cigarette in his mouth. He continues to get the lighter to light, whining all the way. He finally gets a spark and brings it to his lips when Darby bursts through the door.)
DARBY- Andy! Quick! I know who it is! (She runs past him. Andy hangs limply, spits out his cigarette and follows Darby.)

Scene 3
(At the park. Amy walks up to a tree and sits down underneath its shade and pulls out her book. Tim then comes up behind the tree, sits down, and takes out his book. He coughs.)
AMY- Thank you for meeting me so promptly.
TIM- They’re on to us.
AMY- I know. That little detective friend of mine is smarter than I thought. Which is why I called you hear.
TIM- Anything you say boss.
AMY- There’s going to be a change of plans…

Scene 4
(At the park. The camera is focused on Sarah’s piggy bank at first.)
DARBY- Don’t worry Miss Sarah-we’re professionals. No one is really going to get your piggy bank.
SARAH- (Nods.)
DARBY- Okay, its about five. Go to the tree with the purple ribbon and go wait at the tennis courts. We’ll come and get you when its safe and when we’ve apprehended the fiends.
SARAH- Thank you Detective Gross. Its been an honor working with you…God speed.
DARBY- (Bows her head in recognition. Sarah leaves to the tree with a purple ribbon around it, and places the piggy bank down, looking around, and then fleeing off the scene.)

(Amy comes on the scene, walking casually through the park, towards the purple tree. Darby begins to follow her. The camera switches between Darby and Amy with suspenseful music playing in the back. Amy walks past the purple tree and continues on to a table under the shade. She’s wearing a large jacket, and pulls out a book from her backpack. She begins to read. Darby approaches the table, dumbfounded.)
DARBY- Amy!
AMY- (Startled) Darby! What are you doing here?
DARBY- What are you doing here!
AMY- I TOLD you I was going for a walk, and possibly to the park to get some fresh air!
DARBY- You’re supposed to be stealing Sarah’s piggy bank!
AMY- It would be nice if someone told me!
DARBY- (Looks over to the purple tree. The piggybank is missing, and no syrup is in its place.) Oh… no! NO! (Darby runs over to the tree.) I’ve…I’ve failed-My first case and I’ve failed!
ANDY- (In the distance and out of view) DARBY! HELP!

Scene 5
(Darby runs over to Andy who is on top of a tall man dressed in black wearing nylons on his face. In his arms is the piggy bank. Andy is still struggling to keep him down.)
ANDY- Help me!
DARBY- (Grabs the piggy bank)
ANDY- MORE!
DARBY- (Takes off the ski-mask. Its Tim.) I knew you were behind this. (Stephen and Matthew come out of nowhere and help Andy to his feet. Tim tries to get away but Stephen grabs him and Matthew places the cuffs on him.)
STEPHEN- I’m ashamed…
MATTHEW- Your own flesh and blood Tim…
TIM- Family is a matter of opinion (Spits)
DARBY- He sickens me! Take him away boys! (They drag Tim away)
TIM- You wont always win Detective Gross! WE WILL RISE AGAIN!
(Amy comes running up to the scene.)
AMY- What happened?
(Sarah then comes running.)
DARBY- Miss Sarah, I believe this piggy bank belongs to you?
SARAH- (With joy) Oh thank you Detective Gross! Thank-you!
DARBY- But this case isn’t closed yet… we still don’t know who the syrup snatcher is… (She eyes Amy) Or do we? (Darby rips open Amy’s jacket and Ms. Butterworth falls out.)
SARAH- My syrup!
(Andy picks up the syrup and hands it to Sarah.)
AMY- (Tries to run but Andy grabs her.)
SARAH- How did you figure it out Detective Gross?
DARBY- Elementary my dear Underwood. The voice on the tape, and on the phone, had an obvious head cold involving a stuffy nose, and cough. That help altered the voice as well as possibly a paper towel over the phone, which could be easily disposed of. The tape, and the ribbon on the tree was purple. Amy admitted to having a cold, and has an unusual taste for the color purple. Amy is also an artist who likes to add their own touch of things, even to criminal acts which might actually help snitch her out. Tim was another tip off. He said it was an accident, but he accidentally blurted out “she” thinking Amy was so stupid she actually forgot to mention a time to pick up the piggy bank. Though it did take me a little longer to find out Amy and Tim were in cahoots together.
AMY- Yeah, and I would have gotten away with it if it wasn’t for the fact Tim is too tall to be stealth!
DARBY- Take her away!
SARAH- My hero!

Scene 6
(Andy is outside on the porch, just after dark, smoking his cigarette with Darby under his arms.)
ANDY- (Looking at his box of matches) My hero…

END!!!
This all started while I was sniffing a bottle of Ms. Butterworth's syrup. I love it. Thick, and buttery. if you keep it cool, its thicker and tastes better. I love it more on pancakes than french toast, and I love the smell of it. As I was smelling it I got the distict image of a bottle of the syrup being tied to a chair with a gun against its head. I told it to my friend Sarah, and she chuckled...a little. I soon told Darby about it, who was more entertained with the fact that I actually intended to write this. As I began to write I realized it was quite humorous.

I'm not great at writing screen plays, so this is as close as I could get.

I would like to thank God most of all. I write a lot-but I never finish anything. I prayed that He would help me finish this, and He did. I started this yesterday, and it is done today. I enjoy it-I think it is quite humerous, and I thank God for that because if I didnt have Him, you would not be reading this today.

One thing I would like to point out, Andy is my brother, who cannot live without his cigarettes. Thats how that comes into place.
© 2007 - 2024 purple-skunk
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